Sunday, December 13, 2009

Rose-Colored Jello

Gaudéte in Dómino semper: íterum dico, gaudéte.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say, rejoice!
Phillippians 4:4


At the vigil Mass last night the priest spoke of the special significance the rose-colored candle and vestments for this Third Sunday of Advent have for him personally. He was four years old in December of 1941, a prisoner of the Third Reich. His father was a Canadian trade commissioner stationed in Oslo, and following the invasion of Norway in 1940, the entire family spent two years in internment camps in Germany before a prisoner exchange was eventually arranged.

Largely cut off form the world, the internees did receive Red Cross aid packages, the most prized of which were the ones sent from Canada. And during that bleak Christmas season, one such package contained an unheard-of delicacy: rose-colored Jello. The happiness of that rare treat, the hope it gave him, the joy with which it filled his child's heart—these memories were clearly still alive and vivid for him nearly seventy years later.

His connection of his story with the joyful hope we celebrate this day, this season, reminded me that as a Christian I am called to be focused on hope and joy. Despair and anger are not valid responses for me. Through whatever trials and hardships we are enduring, I can and must look forward to the joys to come, both the joys of the better tomorrows that I continue to believe are coming, and the untold joy of the eschaton which is the object of our ultimate hope.

Passing on the torch

Today dawned bright and sunny here on the banks of the Rivière des Outaouais. It was cold as all get out. but it was lovely to look at. I felt unwilling to spend another entire day alone in this empty house, just me and the silence. Downtown is suddenly closer than I think this week, so I dressed myself in a weather-appropriate manner and set off for the library, the feedbag, and the confessional.

I had already spotted two or three attractive, athletic young people wandering about in their white, expensive-looking "Official Torch Bearer" tracksuits before I had gone a dozen blocks. After I left the library I passed near Parliament Hill, heard the hubbub, and spotted the crowd and the massive outdoor stage. Ah, Olympic madness. After all the build up, it was finally starting to happen for real. Whatever. I trudged along the Sparks Street Mall, devoid as it was of human life, without giving it any further thought.

Too early yet for confession time, I stopped to drink a latté and write an actual letter to a friend. Sufficiently caffeinated, I left the café and headed east toward my appointment with God's mercy. I had only a few blocks to go when I saw the flashing lights of several police cars up ahead. The last street I needed to cross was closed off to traffic. People lined the sidewalks, excitedly clutching flags with the logo of the impending Winter Olympics. Official Olympic vehicles were pulled up at the intersections. The torch was going to be passing this way!

I have never been even remotely near any sort of Olympic event. I may very well never be this close again. Ordinarily I would be curious about such an opportunity; I would want to have the experience, qua experience, for no other reason than it was one I had not previously had. But as the details of the scenario came into focus, I knew with absolute certainty that my recent conversations with friends had not been mere prattle. I sincerely did not care a fig about the Olympics. And I certainly wanted no part of this contrived little scene. I looked up and down the street, and when the signal changed to "walk" I headed across under the watchful eyes of Ottawa's finest.

As I reached the opposite corner an exuberantly-grinning young man—who, bizarrely, had sold me a Big Mac not two hours before—attempted to hand me one of his fistful of little "Vancouver 2010" pennants-on-a-stick. I shook my head, politely I think, keeping my scorn on the inside. I didn't scream at him: "Haven't you people done enough? You want me to smile and be a part of your overscripted shenanigans, too?" I didn't tell him where I thought he could put his little pennant. I didn't shout anything about Miga the Sea-Bear and the other infuriatingly-nonsensical mascots festooned on every postage stamp I stick to every letter I send back home. I didn't even punch myself in the head.

I just moved along, against the flow of people rushing to get in place before the big moment they imagined was going to come jogging by. I just walked away, and went on with my day, and went on living my life, a stranger in a strange land.

Monday, December 07, 2009

Red Balloon, White Rose

There are plenty of covers, but I still shiver a bit as I lie in bed. The thermostat has been set at 62º for days now, and those six degrees definitely makes a noticeable difference. Maybe I'll have to bring a few more blankets down and pile them on the hide-a-bed. I finally put a nail in the living room wall above the computer, and now my Big Dead Jesus (a.k.a. the large crucifix that creeps her out) hangs prominently in my line of sight. It is comforting, I guess. This living room is starting to feel like home.

Above me a red balloon rests against the ceiling, as it has for nine days now. Eleven days ago the Boy and I went to the florist to get a single white rose, as requested. They offered him a balloon, and so home we came with it. Of course it immediately caused trouble with a little brother who wanted it but couldn't have it, so it quickly ended up locked in a closet, pleasing no one. The Boy wanted to pack it, but I convinced him that was impractical.

As I wandered through the vacated home last Saturday, I saw it and brought it down to be part of my growing nest in the living room. It has lasted remarkably well, far exceeding any expectations I had. It is a bit reduced the last couple of days, but still looks taut and strong. The rose, too, still blooms, standing in the French press carafe on the kitchen counter, the closest thing to a vase that we brought with us. I wonder how long it will last before it droops and wilts. Maybe long enough.